Love Does Not Make Good Theatre (or: Things that I Know Now that Nobody Told Me, and I Found Out the Hard Way, so You Don’t Have To)

/ Article by Karen Tan

Learning to crochet and remembering my cross stitch lessons in school, I can make things for friends for whatever reason, or none. I made this hoop for a friend who lost her child to suicide – not immediately, of course!!!! A few months later.

One of the many things I’ve crocheted for cast and crew – this was for Eat Duck, a production by Checkpoint Theatre. I have to say, I hate stuffing…

I like making things and giving them to strangers, like waiting staff, salespeople. during the Christmas season in Japan, I’ve made these trees as a Thank You, and a vain part of me hopes they haven’t been chucked.

C42… ‘nuff said.

I learned about giving from my Mum, and to give without obligation. I learned from her to give a little something to people who come and do work in the house, or who help me with a task without being asked to. in 2008, I shaved my head for Hair for Hope. i was then subject to all kinds of mumbles behind my back, as well as pointing n laughing incidents in KLIA. young girls are more prone to childhood cancers, and hence chemo and hair loss, so this period taught me so much about how little we know about another person’s life and their reasons and choices, and how easily we judge. if my acting didn’t benefit from this, at least my life did.

Be A Good Person

We were all born to be special. Especially in recent times, babies are reminded that they are beautiful, talented, clever, smart. So, if everyone is so special, what makes one person more special than the other? In Singapore, at least, you’re more special if you study more. So if we take that away, we end up with people we like working with, and people we rather send to (insert current hated nation).

It really doesn’t matter how smart or talented you are. If you can’t be on time, won’t learn your lines, are mean to the crew, and are self-centred, believe me, it shows in your work. I’ve had to speak to 2 different young actresses about their behaviour – one made an effort to change, the other hasn’t had work in theatre since. Not because of me, I don’t have that kind of clout, but simply because she had the personality of a cockroach. 

Once, while in a show with kids in it, I had to take quite a few children to task for bullying. In fact, I called them Little Assholes, and told them to tell their Mums. Of course, one did. I was called unprofessional, and I haven’t been hired by that company since. Since then, 2 of the young people have written or spoken to me to tell me that what I did really made them see how badly they’d behaved. Sure, they had to grow up first, but that’s okay. I felt really proud of them, and it serves as a reminder that my personality does affect others. And yes, I did miss working with that company for a while, but if they couldn’t support me in speaking up for the one child who was being picked on, I see now that it’s not only them not hiring me, it’s also me not considering them worthwhile.

So, let’s just be good people. Let’s just be grounded in our work, listen to notes, think about our contributions, let’s make the piece work. Integrity is everything, you are not.

Can’t or Won’t

Life becomes a lot simpler when it’s divided this way. Can’t do it? Find a way. Won’t do it? Deal with the consequences, and don’t whine that people don’t like you.

Be Excellent in A Language

It doesn’t matter what it is – English, Lithuanian, Chinese, German, Thai, Portuguese – be excellent in it. Not very good, but excellent. Knowing many languages at an okay level may do wonders for holidays, but not much in terms of understanding a person, or to catch nuances and unsaid thoughts.

If you’re not excellent in a language, how can you act? How will you see the subtle nuances between one word and another, and how that applies to your performance? How can you hear a person or character say something, and be able to infer what they actually mean, even though they may speak the opposite? 

A person is not always only angry. They can be annoyed, cross, irritated, livid, frustrated, enraged, furious. Yet, we all invariably use Angry to describe someone, which then reduces that person’s experience and situation to black and white. And suddenly, our world becomes that much smaller, and less interesting, because we don’t have the right words to express and understand in a far bigger, wider way. And trust me on this one, it does make the difference between a good, and a very good actor.

I’ve performed with actors who cannot read – they don’t understand punctuation, often mispronounce words, and don’t know how to read ahead, so they plod on, line by line, literally. Sometimes, they plead inexperience, to which I can only think that reading has nothing to do with acting, yet, has everything to do with you being a good actor. I also roll my eyes internally, so hard that it must seem like I have a third eye in my forehead. It really frustrates and irritates me. We live in a country that celebrates a child that reads at the age of 4, and suddenly at 23, this same child reads as if he’s still 4. And he calls himself an actor because he went to a Catholic-named art school and graduated with a degree. Can ah, like that?

Side-note: graduating with a law degree doesn’t make you a lawyer. Same for all degrees and diplomas.

Oh. 

Don’t get me started on accents.

Don’t Be Afraid to Do the Right Thing

Unless you come from a family of anti-social sociopaths, what was drilled in you from the start still applies – greet your elders. At least with Aunty and Uncle, at best with their names, A-plus distinction with the complete traditional terms. Your parents are not called Hi, and neither are your friends. Even if your friends don’t have the sensitivity to do it, you should. I was not allowed to eat until I’d greeted every older person at the table, in order of seniority. My children have been reminded time and again to always be polite when visiting, and it’s with mixed feelings when I remember that my daughter, Rachel, refused to let me drive her friend home after the first time, because she didn’t say Thank You when she got off the car.

Say hello in the lift, regardless of a response. Give your seat to someone who really does need it. Help clear a spill. Offer a hand with groceries. Smile (through your mask…sigh). Say Thank You to the person cleaning your table. Heck, say Thank You to anyone who does something. Try not to get mad at lousy service staff, their job is far shittier than yours.

Yes, do check on the baby that’s crying in too weird a way, for too long, too often – I don’t know how, but do it. Notice old people around you, in case you see them less often. My late mother used to complain that when she walked opposite a group of people, she had to step aside for them to pass, instead of them creating a path for her, the f**kers. Don’t be afraid to be humble. Don’t be afraid to do something nice for the sake of it, even if people think you’re brown-nosing. 

Don’t be afraid to stand up to people who bully. 

Don’t be afraid to gently but firmly tell a child that it’s not right to speak that way to their helper. 

Don’t be afraid to let someone cry.

Don’t be afraid to have imperfect plants.

Don’t be afraid to be ordinary, because you can then do more good things without hoo-ha.

Don’t be afraid of people. They’re people like you. Fear something greater, like stupidity.

/ Karen Tan is an actor who has worked with practically every theatre company in Singapore. She is also obsessed with yarn, fabric, homeware, and pretty much anything that collects dust.