"Self-Portrait as Snack Packaging", Wahid Al Mamun

Ingredients: brain (heart, tongue, consciousness. warning – may speak out of turn. took an iq test aged 8 to prove a point, only to realize he’s been proving another point all along) hair, curled. (unprocessed). food colouring (fake). fear of heights. trauma (unrefined). fear of sex. dreams of flood. fight or flight capacity (suppressed, freeze-preferent.) no tears. poems about mother. poems about father (processed). chocolate chip on shoulder. resume and test scores. expectation. institutional privilege (says bishan then someplace overseas when asked about school, knows big words, says lah too easily.) doesn’t know how to use big words. forced accents. neural networks. learned behaviour. tics (shudders when people say – why is that racist? shudders when people ask again and he doesn’t have the answer.) therapist (virtual). procrastination as coping mechanism. anxiety (600g).

Instructions:

Sift and pour ingredients out of box and into mixing bowl with one cup of water, one cup of milk. Pour mixture into greased pan and turn over when browned. Then tell it to find its way home.

/ Wahid Al Mamun is an Anthropology major at the University of Chicago. His poetry won an Honorable Mention for the Hawker Prize of Southeast Asian Poetry. His recent work can be found at Cordite Review and QLRS.

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